How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't put those talents on a resume
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
