Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
