I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
