so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
