I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize