Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
