Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You dont lie about slip and slides
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
