And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
