She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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