didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
