at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
