You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize