so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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