im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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