new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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