ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
