I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
