Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
