Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize