You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
