I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
