If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
