I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
