? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
