dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
