Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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