Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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