People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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