Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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