Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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