I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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