Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
