so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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