cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
