had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
