24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
