PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think im going to throw up on grandma
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
