Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
