I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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