I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize