I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
