wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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