Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
They have beer where we have blood.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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