Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
