You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think I am morally bankrupt
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
