I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
