I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i now understand why vodka
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
