Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
this is an emotional support booty call
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
