just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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