Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
