One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize