you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He felt like a one man threesome
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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