Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
