remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
