just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
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