i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
