btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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