Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize