But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
