before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
