Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
