No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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