my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
